of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
