Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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