M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
