Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Congratulations! We have a period
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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