okay pat passed out under dana's car
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize