OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
