Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He felt like a one man threesome
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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