I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
