Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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