Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
