You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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