i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
