I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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