I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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