A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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