i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
