glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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