I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
