wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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