Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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