I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
