You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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