K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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