I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
