I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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