So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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