My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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