I look better un-naked...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's always time for handjobs
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
