I am in a vortex of obligation.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
