And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
