Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have already put on my inside pants.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
