when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
