so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
