He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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