hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
