There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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