Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
