Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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