you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
