then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Less talking, more tequila
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
