No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i will never coherently bang her
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize