There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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