goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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