You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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