They should really pass out barf bags in church
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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