Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
