I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
