Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
