What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
