hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
