I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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