The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
