we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
