Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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