Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
