Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just pee around me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize