this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
