Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
