I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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