is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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