I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
