My room smells like vodka and shame
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize