I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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