please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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