no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
