Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize