Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
