I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
