I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
