I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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