I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You need a sexual gate keeper
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
