Jerry, you need to find god
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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