I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
