Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
